Phew.
Let's see, let's see, let's see...
I've been getting so many new watchers as of late that I can't do what I've been doing thus far anymore... Which is that I take for granted that the people who read my journal are the same 5 people who've been reading my journal for the past 3 years... BTW: HOLY SHIT! THREE YEARS!? Is it that long already!? I'm getting old!
Well anyhoo... Yeah, so I've kind of had this attitude when writing on my journal that the people who read this stuff are the people who already know everything about me 'cause they've been reading my journal since always. And uh... Most of you kids out there these days probably don't know this, but I play guitar. And I've played bass ... Oh wait! I think there IS one picture in my gallery of me doing something with my guitar! [link] ... But anyhow, what I was trying to say is that I've been taking a long break from playing guitar (the bass I don't even have anymore). I haven't really played for almost two years. I've played some, but I haven't played FOR REAL.
Until yesterday.

I just kinda felt like I need to find out if I still know how to rock.

At first it was real stiff and I was pretty sure that I really had lost my touch. But then suddenly something inside of me just cracked and I realized that I was playing "Imperial March" from Star Wars with this kinda alternative metal twist - I shit you not. And it sounded awesome! And that's where things really started to pick up.
And just so you know, I have a 6-stringed guitar, but I've had it custom tuned a fourth lower. So it goes as low as a 7-stringed guitar. But it's not a perfect fourth lower tuning like in some baritone guitars (B E A D F♯ B). Instead it's like a 7-stringed guitar with the high E string removed. So it goes like B E A D G B... Which basically means that you can't play it like a regular guitar 'cause the 4th, 5th and 6th string aren't in the same kind of balance with eachother as they'd normally be.

And why would I get a custom tuning like this when I know it pretty much means that the only chord I'll be playing from now on is the power chord? There IS a reason for this. Just one reason, but it'll take forever to explain it so I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
The reason is because my musical activies started off with the bass and that's where my roots are. I don't really KNOW HOW TO play guitar. I don't really PLAY guitar. It's more like... I crush guitar. Sure I took guitar lessons and all that shit, but it didn't do me much good. Which is because I had very little motivation to learn how to play guitar. Which is because I never really enjoyed playing guitar like I enjoyed playing bass. Which is because at the age of 15 - under pressure by my bandmates - I was forced to switch from bass to guitar after our guitarist left the band.
I never really liked how the guitar sounds. And I never really liked how it feels. And I never learned to play guitar as well as I played the bass. That's why I had the custom tuning made. I wanted my guitar cranked lower so it wouldn't sound so thin and whiney compared to the bass that I was used to. And I got rid of that stupid high E string 'cause I just felt like it was in my way and I sucked arse with the chords anyways so TO HELL WIF IT!.
The G and high B strings I like. I found it nice that the guitar has this kinda tuning quirk with the high strings. For a bassist it was pretty refreshing that the 4th and 5th guitar srings were in a different kind of balance with eachother than the rest of the strings. But I found it annoying that then you have the 6th string - which I BTW hated 'cause it was just so HIGH - which is in the same kinda balance with the 5th string as all the other strings. It was just bothering me. I wanted the tuning quirk to happen with the two highest strings and then there should be no more strings to kinda take you back to the regular tuning balance that goes on with all the other strings.

So I took out the highest string - the high E - from the bottom. And then on the top I added a low B. And now I'm a lot happier with the tuning I have in my guitar than I was when I still had the regular tuning. It's more ballsy. And when it comes to music, I like to see myself as a ballsy girl.
I wanna blow out the fucking windows, kick in the doors and mow down the walls. And you can't do that with a regular guitar tuning. You can make a white, long-haired, middle-aged man scream "MEOW!!!" with a really, high-pitched voice if you have a regular guitar tuning... But you can't blow out the fucking windows and kick in the doors and mow down the walls with that.
This custom tuning brings me a little closer to that.

And now we're about to arrive at the actual point of this journal entry!
So, I was a pretty decent bassist. Now I'm just an average guitarist - at best. And for a long time I've been really bitter about that. Y'know... I USED TO BE a pretty decent bassist! And NOW I'm just an average guitarist - at best.
So yesterday I decided to rock it out as hard as I could. I made it as fucking ballsy as I could with the guitar and the tuning that I've got. And it WAS pretty hard and ballsy. And for the first time in ages (or ever) I was pretty happy with my guitar playing. It was raw, it was powerful, it was loud, it was mean and it was rude. And that night I started to think that I should really give the guitar a second chance. But MORE IMPORTANTLY I started to think that there is no reason whatsoever why I shouldn't be playing the bass as well.
Playing the guitar like that made me remember what it was like playing the bass and fucking loving it. The body of a low frequency instrument vibrating really violently agains my hip bone 'cause the sound is just so DEEP and so LOW. It's just rattling and roaring there and the sound is pulsating through my body, making my heartbeat fuse with the rythm of the riffs. And I'm squeezing the neck of the instrument 'cause it feels so good - I squeeze it so hard that the muscles in my hand and forearm are almost cramping and the veins on that arm are just shooting up. Makes me wanna go:
"YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK AND FUCKING LIKE IT!" (Yeah, that was KoЯn)

It makes me feel so powerful, so unstoppable.

So I did something today that I haven't done in years. I went to a music instrument store to check out some basses. And there they were... An entire wall covered in them. I was just staring at them for about 20 minutes. I couldn't even touch them 'cause I was too afraid of how it might feel to hold a bass again after almost 9 years. And then after a while I mustered up enough courage to pick one of the basses in my hands and I picked the lowest strig with my figer - JUST ONCE - so I could hear the lowest sound that a 4-stringed bass can give me. And the moment my fighers made contact with that thick string and I heard the sound "BRAOUMMMMMMMMMMM" and I felt the body of the instrument vibrating against my body like basses tend to do... Man, that's when I knew for sure...

This is what my instrument is supposed to sound and feel like.

And so it was decided that I'm going to get a bass.
It might not happen in a while 'cause first I need to find a job that actually earns me some MONEY. Right now I'm working for no pay and I live off the money that the state is paying me during my unemployedness.
But the unemployedness can't go on forever. And when I find that job, the first big thing that I'm gonna buy is a bass. Most preferably an Ibanez SRX - fuck me balls out swining! Or maybe an Ibanez SR!
5 strings or 4 strings - it doesn't matter. I just need a bass!

And I'm getting in the mood to shoot some photos with my guitar... Maybe tomorrow.

PS. I don't wanna hear any bullshit about Ibanez now. I know there are a lot of Ibanez-haters out there. And tell you what, my bass was an Ibanez, my guitar is an Ibanez, I've tried out a lot of Ibanez instruments and Ibanez works for me.
Besides, it means a lot to me how the instrument looks, and I just so happen to like the way Ibanez instruments look. I do not want an instrument that doesn't look like it belongs to me. I could not buy a fucking Fender no matter how awesome people say it is, because there's nothing - NOTHING - that looks as ridiculous as a Fender bass. And it gets even worse if it has a pick guard (and I honestly don't think even guitars need that). Wh-wha-what the hell do you think you're doing? Why are you putting a pick guard on a bass? Only pussies play bass with a pick! Get that ugly-ass plastic plate outta my instrument, it looks fucking retarded!
Also, I need 24 frets on my bass. Any less than that is gonna make me feel claustrophobic. And as far as I know, Fender (and a lot of other so-called legendary instrument manufacturers) don't do basses with 24 frets. It drives me nuts! I could have a full neck of 24 frets, but you're not giving it to me! WHAT THE HELL!?
No, in my experience Ibanez is what best works for me and that's final.